Finding Love

What do we know about love? The bible says that "4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8Love never fails."(1Cor.13:4-8) I think we as normal functioning humans don’t always see love in this same capacity. What do we see love as? If we were the ones writing this scripture it would probably say something like this, "I'm in a hurry to find love, love hurts, if I was only loved like ______, love is lust, love is a broken heart, love is temporary, and love is not what I expected...." We are flawed. We often view love as a behavior, attitude, or action that is layered with expectations. There is probably a time in your life where you have said (hopefully to yourself) I will love you if you do this... Or if someone would love me my life would be filled with... What if I were to say love is so much greater than this.

 To get to the root of love I think we need to view the way God loves us. Let’s take another peak at the scriptures, the bible talks about love like this, "For God so loved the world he gave his only son to die for us, so that you ever believes in him will not die but have eternal life (John 3:16)", or "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:6-8)." Think about that kind of love, knowing that we were the reason His Son was to die he loved us enough to send him anyways. God’s love is unconditional, everlasting, and sufficient.

 Let's break down what we are learning about love into steps. We just learned this STEP 1 God LOVES you regardless of who you are or what you do he is in love with you! So much so that he made you in his own image. WOW it is like when you have your child and the baby is born you look at them and see yourself and you get so overwhelmed with love it brings you to tears because you created them and want the absolute best for them. God is our father and loved us even when we were still sinners, he sacrificed himself for us!!!!! 

              So now that we know we are loved unconditionally and that God is LOVE, what comes next? Let’s once again look to the word of God for some inspiration. In Matthew the 22nd chapter Jesus said "you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with your entire mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself." When searching for love Christ wants us to look for love in him first. Not just to see how much he loves us but to give him our love as well, we are called to love him with our whole being (heart, soul, mind, and strength). Then we can understand and know how to put that love towards others.

So STEP 2 is for us to LOVE GOD! We have established that God loves us and we know now how to be loved, secondary to knowing how to be loved is how to show love. Jesus explained in order to show true love you have to put your all into it. Your all includes your mind, soul, heart, and strength. To get a better grasp of this we should break each of these attributes down.

         Mind: To love with all your mind is to be thoughtful to the person you love. In the case of loving God we are putting every thought into service and worship to him. How thoughtful are you in your relationships? Do you go out of your way to find new ways of making a special person in your life feel loved? Is your mind wandering when they are talking to you? When we love something with our entire mind we are focused on them and give them the attention they need, not for our gain but so their needs may be met.

            Soul: There is a verse in the bible that says, “What would it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul?” Our soul everything that is within us is called to love our creator. God wants your body to be filled with a desire to be a part of and love him! Put that into terms of a personal relationship you may have in your own life, do you find yourself waking up and every ounce of your being is so excited to be with the person you love? Or have you waivered and fallen into the trap of being tempted to look elsewhere? People are always looking for greener grass on the other side but I am telling you this, it is the person that has pride of ownership of their lawn that keeps their grass full and green. A well cared for lawn requires fertilization, watering, mowing, and aeration. Your relationship may need to be watered and fertilized when you are putting your soul into everyone takes notice, because it will be a lawn that is beautiful.  When your all is being poured out into your relationships both parties will feel loved and trusted.

            Heart: Matthew 13:14-17 states “You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. ¹⁵ For this people’s heart have become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.” God is letting us know that it does not matter how many things we have lined up for healing if our hearts are not their we will never be fulfilled. God wants all of our heart dedicated to him, striving for closeness, where our heart beats in accordance to the will he has preordained inside of us. Think about this in your own relationships, if your heart is not in to it, it doesn’t matter how many therapy sessions you go to, or how many hours you pray for God to intervene, it takes an open heart to receive the healing it needs. Think about how in love you were when you first saw your significant other, the butterflies, the heart racing, how you would do anything to make that person happy because you were so “in love”…. That may not have been love completely but the feelings were important to your union. Those feelings don’t have to go away, if your whole heart is into your relationship you will find time to create that experience again, you will find a time to leave the kids with a sitter and go on a date, you will find the time to surprise your spouse with flowers at work, or to take them out to lunch, put your heart into the experience of loving, without it love does not exist…. There is a reason we use the heart as a symbol for love.

            Strength: Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Think about this where does strength come from? What makes you strong? If your relationship with your spouse is grounded by the love of God, that is a triple threat, you love for one another (2 strands) plus the love of God (1 strand), creates a cord of three strands that is not easily broken. However, in order for that to truly work you have to put all your strength into your part. Don’t be easy to give up, or waiver because of superficial concerns, justify ungodly actions, or trivial issues that Satan puts forth to weaken your cord. Lean on the love of God and put your trust in his guidance to overcome the issues in which the devil wants you to stumble and fail.

            God truly does want you to find that person he has set out for you but as he said in scripture love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and then love your neighbor as yourself. Learn to love through building a relationship with God, and through that process of learning you may have a better idea of the wants and needs God has in store for you. Be a person that loves your mate with all your heart soul mind and strength, creating a bond that is not easily broken. Allow healing in your life, and lean on the strength of Christ to pull you through Satan’s strongholds.